How are all the gifts delivered upon the eve of Christmas? Simple. There’s 87 big guys working together. As one.

Each week, in a meeting where we discuss work both doing and to be done, I sit and draw a man. That man Is Martin Brown. Return next week. And the week after that. Get to know this mans face through my drawings. Enjoy his face. Laugh at his face. Yurn for this mans face (And also for his upper-torso as this is occasionally included).

Here is his face.

Underground Ping Pong at the GB is back on! Thursday the 25th of September will again see the basement of amazement will pulsate with the ping and with the pong. We’re getting in early with reminding and emailing this time, giving you, the loyal punter, more of a chance to sharpen up your skills for the thrills and spills that are Underground Ping Pong at the GB.

Underground Ping Pong at The Great Britain Hotel
Church St, Richmond
Thursday 25th of September
7pm signup!

I have to apologise. I think you have the wrong idea about me and I think I may have offended you. The reason for this, and I am ashamed to admit it, is that I am a self-confessed, long-term nail biter.

I don’t know why I do it, but I have been doing it for as long as I can remember, and I think it is actually more of an addiction than a bad habbit, but alas I don’t think I can stop. So Nails, I write this letter to you to beg for forgiveness. The thing is Nails, I bite you when I am bored, when I am nervous, or whenever I think you are just slightly too long for me to bare. I know my behaviour is not always appropriate, but Nails, you are just so bite-able. And I know sometimes I take it too far and bite the skin around the edge of you, and then it bleeds and I feel really guilty and beat myself up about it, but Nails, please know I never want to hurt you.

You know what Nails, it is not only you who loses out. I too am unable to make you pretty and paint you with all the fancy paints you want. I do feel horrible, but honestly, if I could give you all of that I would. But Nails, I really love you short, just the way you are. I would love you see you grow, sure I would, but Nails, I have come realise that if I didn’t bite you short, I’d probably just cut you anyway.

Nails, I know you see all those other pretty nails out there and think you too would look good all fancy like that, that’s why I bought you some new leather gloves the other day. And to keep you warm in the frosty winter months of course – to protect you, cos I care about you. I used to have fingerless gloves, but I realised Nails, that you were left out in the cold in those. So now you can dress with Hands in fancy lady driving gloves and stay warm.

So what I am trying to say Nails, is perhaps you should just think of my biting you as an act of my affection, because Nails, you are the best nails I will ever have and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

love Pearls

This letter to Nails will also be published in a printed version of the Nail File http://www.nailfilee.blogspot.com/

Accompanying picture by Benjamin Hammond

An unbelievably dextrous robot arm – controlled JUST BY THINKING.